I read an interesting story in the book of Acts a few weeks ago. I'm pretty sure I had never heard this story before, but it spoke volumes to my heart during a time when I needed to hear it. Acts 5:1-4 says
Now a man named Ananias, together with his wife Sapphira, also sold a piece of property. 2 With his wife’s full knowledge he kept back part of the money for himself, but brought the rest and put it at the apostles’ feet.
3 Then Peter said, “Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land? 4 Didn’t it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn’t the money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied just to human beings but to God.”
It goes on to say that Ananias fell down and died. Later, his wife comes in and they ask her whether her husband gave the full amount. She lies and says he did. When she is confronted with the truth, she also dies on the spot.
At first, I the only thing I understood this story to be teaching was not to be greedy and not to lie. I thought, "Must be talking to someone else. I give my tithe on Sundays and help people in need as much as I can. I don't have anything of value that I might sell and then be tempted to keep part of the money. I think I'm good." Moving on to the next story now.
But then, I went back and read it again and I noticed some things I didn't really think about before. And that's when it smacked me right between the eyes.
This story isn't just about money or property or lying. This is about giving God our best. And it's talking directly to ME.
Look at verse 4 again.
4 Didn’t it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn’t the money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied just to human beings but to God.”
The problem wasn't that Ananais kept some of the money. The property was his to keep or sell and the profit was his to use as he pleased. Ananias could have simply brought his tithe and kept the rest. Or, he could have made a gift of part of the money and spent the rest on whatever he wanted. God wasn't forcing him to give it to the apostles.
But Ananias wanted to look good. He wanted to say, "Look what I did. I sold my property and gave all the money to the apostles. I'm awesome like that." But in his heart, he knew he was holding back. He put on the show of doing something great for God, but inside, he was settling for "good enough".
I do that so often in my life. I sign up to do something that I don't have to do-teach a kids' class at church, lead a Bible study group, volunteer at a special event at church. I commit to being there and to working-serving and giving my time and energy to whatever I signed up for. And I do.
On the outside, it looks good. My lessons are prepared, I have my smile on my face, and I show up when I'm supposed to. But, on the inside, I know I'm holding back. I don't give 100% of what I could. I do just enough to make it look good to the people around me.
It may be that I give less than my best because I'm simply too busy. I overschedule myself so that there's just not enough time to do everything and do it well.
It may be that I really wanted to say no, but said yes because I didn't want to hurt someone's feelings or because I felt like if I didn't do it, no one would.
Maybe I hold back because I am looking for approval and recognition from those around me and I'm afraid of investing myself too much and then being disappointed when I don't receive it.
Whatever the reason, when I hold back and don't give God the best of what I commit to Him, I miss out on blessings He has for me.
So, today, I look into my heart. What are the areas that I truly feel led to commit to serving God and what are the areas where I've said yes when I should have said no? What areas of my life am I serving just to be recognized or approved by people, but holding my best back out of fear?
"Good enough" is no longer good enough for me. I want to give 100% of my very best in whatever I choose to do. No holding back.
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