Words

If you've been reading my blog very long, you already know that I am on a mission to read the entire Bible for the first time in my life. As I read more, I am continuously amazed. The stories I've heard since I was a child suddenly come to life for me and speak to me in a way they never have before. And there are so many things that I've never read or heard before! I  love it!

One of those stories that came to life for me was the story of Stephen in Acts. I have heard mention so many times of Stephen being a martyr, of Stephen being stoned. But I had never really heard the story in detail. It's an amazing story!

In my Bible, the story of the stoning of Stephen is divided into three sections-"Stephen Seized", "Stephen's Speech to the Sanhedrin", and "The Stoning of Stephen". As I read this story, there was something from each section that spoke to my heart that I would like to share with you. So, we'll divide his story into three posts.

Ready? Go!

Acts 6:8-15 is the story of Stephen being seized. 

⁸ Now Stephen, a man full of God’s grace and power, performed great wonders and signs among the people. ⁹ Opposition arose, however, from members of the Synagogue of the Freedmen (as it was called)—Jews of Cyrene and Alexandria as well as the provinces of Cilicia and Asia—who began to argue with Stephen. ¹⁰ But they could not stand up against the wisdom the Spirit gave him as he spoke.

¹¹ Then they secretly persuaded some men to say, “We have heard Stephen speak blasphemous words against Moses and against God.”

¹² So they stirred up the people and the elders and the teachers of the law. They seized Stephen and brought him before the Sanhedrin. ¹³ They produced false witnesses, who testified, “This fellow never stops speaking against this holy place and against the law. ¹⁴ For we have heard him say that this Jesus of Nazareth will destroy this place and change the customs Moses handed down to us.”

¹⁵ All who were sitting in the Sanhedrin looked intently at Stephen, and they saw that his face was like the face of an angel.

 Two things about that really stick out to me. First off, it says Stephen was " a man full of God's grace and power," and then it says, "But they couldn't stand up against the wisdom the Spirit gave him as he spoke." Wow! Stephen was so filled with God's Spirit that his words were words of wisdom that no one could fault. I want to be like that!

God has given me the gift of words. I love the written word, the spoken word, song lyrics, poetry, anything with words. Words are so powerful! Words have ability to build someone up or to instantly tear them down. Words in songs and poetry can speak to someone in a way that pierces their defensive walls and goes straight to the heart. Written words are especially powerful for me. Something about seeing the words on the page or on the screen helps me to take it in and hold onto it in a way that just hearing it doesn't. Guess that's why I like to write so much.

But even knowing this love of words was a gift from God, I chose to sit on it for a long time. I have always been afraid to share what I write with other people. Having people read what I had written, even in a card or letter, was so scary to me. I was scared people would somehow make fun of it or point out the flaws in it to me. And especially when it came to writing about Spiritual things. What if I told someone wrong? What if I misquoted or misunderstood what the Bible said? What if I totally messed up the meaning of something?

But I have come to realize something. By MY power, my words mean nothing. Even through my best effort, my words are flawed and meaningless. I try to speak words of wisdom and advice to people by my strength and I fall short every time.

But when I first come to God and ask Him to speak through me, my words can be powerful. My words can be full of wisdom and hope. They can be words of healing and encouragement. They can be words of enlightenment and understanding. But they're not really my words at all. When I come to God and ask Him to speak through me, He does, and the words are His.

So, my aim is to be like Stephen. To be filled be filled with God's grace and power and to speak the words the Spirit gives me. And I know God will bless it and use it to speak to someone else. 

Heavenly Father,

Thank you for this love of words that you have placed in my soul. It is a gift from you and I want to use it to bring you honor and glory. I ask that the words I write and the words I speak not be mine, Lord, but yours. Help me to be filled with your power and your grace so that your words of wisdom flow out of me. Bless those who read my words. Speak through me into their hearts. I praise you for the way you are using the gift you placed in me to reach other people You are an amazing, wonderful God!

In Jesus' Name, Amen

Waiting on tables

In my house, the kids outnumber the adults, 2 to 1. There are four of them and two of us. The odds are pretty much in their favor. And since I have a husband who works out of town a lot, the odds most days are actually 4 to 1.

Four children in the house makes for lots and lots of messes, cooking, and laundry. My washing machine runs at least 3-4 loads a day and my dishwasher runs twice just to keep up with our needs. There are constantly school books, shoes, toys, electronics, and various other things lying around that need to be picked up to keep our home from becoming a disaster zone.

Add to that all of the other "life" things that have to happen on a daily basis-homeschooling (a job all by itself), driving the kids to and from their activities, church, Bible study, caring for our animals, paying the bills, shopping for groceries, planning the meals-and life can quickly become overwhelming for me. I am only one person and I can only do so much.

That's why, in my house, the children have chores. They are responsible for a big part of the cooking, cleaning, and animal care. They help do the laundry and clean the van. They dust and vacuum and do the dishes. And it is a tremendous help to me.

Because they take care of those kinds of chores that pretty much anyone can do, my time is freed up to spend on the things that only I can do.

Only I can drive them places they need to go (for a few more months anyway). Only I can plan our homeschool lessons and calendar to keep us on track. Only I can do the bills and the shopping. Only I can fill my spot as a Children's Ministry volunteer at church. Only I can write this blog.

I let the kids do what anyone can do, so I can focus on what only I can do.

There's a story in Acts that speaks to this idea within the early church. Acts 6:1-7 says

" In those days when the number of disciples was increasing, the Hellenistic Jews^[a] among them complained against the Hebraic Jews because their widows were being overlooked in the daily distribution of food. ² So the Twelve gathered all the disciples together and said, “It would not be right for us to neglect the ministry of the word of God in order to wait on tables. ³ Brothers and sisters, choose seven men from among you who are known to be full of the Spirit and wisdom. We will turn this responsibility over to them ⁴ and will give our attention to prayer and the ministry of the word.”

⁵ This proposal pleased the whole group. They chose Stephen, a man full of faith and of the Holy Spirit; also Philip, Procorus, Nicanor, Timon, Parmenas, and Nicolas from Antioch, a convert to Judaism. ⁶ They presented these men to the apostles, who prayed and laid their hands on them.
⁷ So the word of God spread. The number of disciples in Jerusalem increased rapidly, and a large number of priests became obedient to the faith."

When I read this passage, I can't help but think of the Pastors and staff at my church. God has called them to be the leaders of our congregation. With that comes huge responsibility for things only they can do. Only they can oversee the day-to-day operations of the church. Only they can prepare and share the messages that God places in their hearts for our adults, youth, and children's services. Only the Pastors can counsel people who need God's love and wisdom in their lives. Only the Pastors can be, well, Pastors.

That's why volunteers in the church are so important.
 I haven't been called or equipped to preach a sermon to the congregation on Sunday morning. But, I am able to sit next to a child in our 1-4 grade class and help them focus on the lesson.

 I can't lead the worship service or play an instrument, but I can help prepare snacks for the little ones.

I can't teach a men's Bible study on Wednesday evenings, but I can help set up the chairs.

I can't spend my days in the church office counseling people, but I can greet people at the doors before service and make them feel at home in our church. 

I can't prepare and teach the service in the Children's Ministry class, but I can help prepare the craft or clean up afterward so that the Children's Pastor has time to prepare the message and her heart.

I can do what anyone can do so they can do what only they can do.

Can you imagine what we could accomplish if everyone did this? Our ministries in our churches would be unstoppable! 

Will you join me? What can you volunteer for in your church that will help the Pastors do what only they can do?

Teach a class?

Set up for chairs for a small group?

Cut out pieces for the Children's Ministry craft?

 Serve as a greeter to welcome new guests to your church?

Whatever it is, I challenge you to jump in and do it. You might be surprised at the difference it makes!

The Rock

Have you ever had one of those days where just about everything seems to be going wrong? Maybe nothing especially catastrophic, but just tons and tons of little things all at once, that all add up to be one giant bad day? Oh my goodness, I have lived there this week! I can't remember a week (except maybe the week my dad passed away) so full of intense emotion and ups and downs. Like a roller coaster. There have been moments of intense joy and moments of fear and sadness. It's definitely been crazy.

Yesterday was the climax of it all. Every time I turned around, there was some little something that didn't work the way I needed it to or didn't happen the way I planned. Things broke, I forgot things, I did things I didn't mean to do. I spent a lot of time on some things I hadn't planned to be doing and ran out of time for the things I really needed to do. 

For a control-freak like me, it was the recipe for disaster. 

But yesterday was different. 

Yesterday afternoon, I had a chance to spend some time with a friend. As we were talking about the events of my day, she said, "I'm proud to see that you're still smiling." I hadn't really thought about it much until then, but I was still smiling. Even with a broken, leaky washing machine and a repair bill I didn't expect. Even with a flat tire. Even with a phone call about lab results from the doctor that weren't what I wanted to hear. Even with technology that didn't work the way I wanted. Even when I spent two hours working on a Bible study only to find out I'd been in the wrong book the whole time. And even when I had so many interruptions to my morning that I didn't get to do one bit of schoolwork with my kids.

I was smiling. 

I was supposed to study 1 Corinthians 7 yesterday morning. But instead, somehow I ended up in Matthew 7. I did the first 3 1/2 sections before I realized what I had done. So, I went back and did the right section and decided to leave the rest of Matthew 7 for today. And this morning, as I was finishing up the last part of Matthew 7, I found the reason I could have such a crummy day and still come out smiling at the end.

Matthew 7:25 says, 

 ^"The rain came down, the streams rose, and the winds blew and beat against that house; yet it did not fall, because it had its foundation on the rock."

I have learned that no matter what happens to me, my foundation is on Jesus. So, even when things go wrong and life is out of my control, I can stand. He will not let me fall!

Jump in!

I know summer is almost over, but today is a nice, warm day and it had me thinking about swimming. I'm not a huge fan of the pool, but once in a while, it's fun to just get in a cool off for a bit. There's just something about being in the water that relaxes me and takes my mind off whatever stress is happening in my life, even if just for a moment.

I wish we had a pool at home. I would love to be able to go out whenever I wanted and go for a little swim. Or, even better, to send the kids out for a swim when I need a quiet minute in the house. But, pools are a lot of work and I'm just not ready to commit to that time investment right now. So, for now, when we want to swim, we head to the public pool. Not my favorite, but it works.

One of the things I DO like about going to the public pool is that there are always interesting people there. Am I the only one who likes to people watch? You can learn a lot by watching people and the way they interact. 

At the pool, almost always, you can count on seeing a little one standing on the edge, wearing his sweet little floaties, and being coaxed by his mommy or daddy to jump off the edge into the arms waiting to catch him. I love watching this! Especially when it's a little one jumping into the arms of his or her daddy. Melts my heart every time.

 

Some kids are just naturally brave and trusting. They know their daddy is going to catch them and they jump right in. Sometimes they jump without even having to be encouraged. Maybe they even back up and get a running start. They come in with a big smile on their face and jump with all they have. As their daddy catches them, he gently lets them go under for a split second before he pulls them back up and holds them close again. They love it! They get to feel the cool, refreshing water wash over them, but they still know they're safe in their father's arms. Almost as soon as they hit the water, they're right back out, ready to do it all over again.

Some kids are little less sure. They stand on the edge, looking at the water and looking at their dad. He stands with outstretched arms and a smile, encouraging them to just jump and let him prove that he'll be there to catch them. Still, they hesitate. But eventually, the trust they have in their daddy and their desire for the cool water win out over their fear and they jump. When these kids jump, the dads very rarely let them go under. More likely, as they jump, he moves a tiny bit closer so that the child jumps directly into his arms and is held close. Even though they are in the water, they are held tight by their father. And after a little while, they have the courage to climb out of the pool and do it again. Probably with a little less hesitation this time.

Sadly, there are some kids that never do give in. They stand on the edge of the pool wanting to jump so badly. They long to feel the cool water and be held tight by their father, but they're afraid. What if He doesn't catch them this time? What if they go under? The longer they stand there, the louder the fear speaks to their minds, paralyzing them and keeping them on the edge. Their father stands in the water, waiting, with open arms, ready for his child to come to him. He speaks encouragement to try and help overcome the fear. He inches closer to the edge, closing the gap between his child and himself. As much as he wants to, he won't reach out and make his child jump. He knows that it must be the child's choice. So he waits. And the child walks away. The fear is stronger than their faith. They sit there in the heat of the sun, wishing they could be in the cool water, but willing to miss out because what they know is more comfortable than the 'what if'.

I've been that child for a very long time. I've always known that God was calling me to write, to speak, and to lead. He has put inside me the desire to share His love with the people around me through my words. But I've been afraid. What if I fail? What if I write and pour out my heart and no one reads it? What if I speak and no one listens? 

So I've sat on the edge of the pool, wishing, but never jumping in. 

Until one day, I finally decided that I hated sitting on the outside watching everyone else swim more than I feared what might happen if I jumped in the pool. So, I walked to the edge and saw my Father waiting to catch me, not out in the middle of the pool, but right there at the edge. He knew my fear, and he came to meet me right where I needed Him to be. 

So, I jumped. Immediately, before I even got close to going under, He pulled me in and held me close. I had done it! I jumped and He caught me and I was safe. I stayed there and took in the comfort of being held for a while, and then I heard Him say to me, "That was amazing! Do it again!" 

I found myself back on the edge of the pool with my Father standing there, a little farther away this time, calling me to jump again. Fear tried to creep back in, but this time the memory of the safety I felt in His arms was stronger than the fear. So, I jumped.

I felt the water just touch my feet and then I felt myself pulled in close again. He had caught me again. And my trust in Him grew.

And so it continues. Each time I choose to jump in and do what He's asking of me today, He catches me and my faith in Him grows. Slowly, the fear of jumping becomes less. And slowly, He allows me, little by little, to go a little deeper, to feel His love wash over me more. 

No more sitting on the edge of the pool!

Acts 5:39

 ^"But if it is from God, you will not be able to stop these men; you will only find yourselves fighting against God.”

Heavenly Father, 

Thank you for ALWAYS catching me! You never make me jump, but when I choose to release my fear and jump into your arms, you never fail. Your arms always catch me and pull me close to you. Help me to trust that when You ask me to jump, I cannot fail because You are there, waiting for me. Thank you for being my loving Father! Amen

 

 Love this picture! Fits perfectly!

Bring them!

I have a confession to make. Those of you who know me well, are probably already aware of this little quirk I have. Are you ready? Here goes...

I am afraid of doctors and of taking medication. When I am sick, I will do anything to avoid going to the doctor. Unless I truly think I might die, I won't go. And I'd rather suffer and feel terrible than to take medicine. Not sure why I'm that way. Pretty sure I get it from my dad. He didn't like doctors either.

Funny enough, God has put me in a position where I get to spend quite a bit of time in the doctor's office (although less lately than it used to be). And He's given me quite an extensive list of daily medications that I must take to keep me healthy. He has a sense of humor like that.

A few years ago, my fear and stubbornness about going to the doctor nearly cost me my life. 

It started on a Thursday afternoon. I was coming home and there was a small tree across the road. I had to get out and move it. No big deal, but afterward, I couldn't catch my breath. It was just a small tree, but it wiped me out for the rest of the day.

The next day, I woke up with a racing heart. I thought maybe I had drank to many sodas or eaten to much sugar the day before. I tried to go about my day, but I just couldn't shake it. I still felt as if I couldn't catch my breath. Any little effort left me exhausted. I was shaky and irritable. 

Saturday morning was more of the same, only worse. I thought if I could take a nap, I would feel better when I woke up. But my heart was pounding so hard that I couldn't relax enough to sleep. That afternoon, loading things into my car, I could hardly walk from the house to the car without having to stop and rest.

My mom kept asking if I was okay, if I needed to go to the doctor. But I refused. I just knew it would pass. If I pretended nothing was wrong, it would go away on its own.

But I continued to get worse. Finally, sometime in the evening, my mom convinced me to check my blood sugar. I hadn't eaten all day, so I expected it to be very low. I was wrong. It was over 300! That finally convinced me, so we headed out to the ER.

After several hours and tests, the doctors diagnosed me with diabetes and high blood pressure. Their suggestion was an insulin shot and a follow up visit with my regular doctor on Monday. I went to bed Saturday night expecting to feel like myself in the morning. But that's not what happened. 

Sunday, I woke up barely able to cross the room. Even when I was at rest, my heart pounded and I couldn't catch my breath. My mom wanted me to go back to the ER. But, I didn't want to be one of "those" people, so I refused. Finally, when I had to stop to rest on my way to the restroom, I gave in and let her drive me back (did I mention the hospital was an hour away?)

Well, long story short, I was diagnosed with bi-lateral pulmonary embolism...fancy words for saying that I had multiple blood clots in both my lungs. I was taken from the ER by helicopter to the Heart Hospital in a very dangerous situation. Those blood clots could have left my lungs, traveled to my heart or to my brain, and killed me. I should have been in to see the doctor on Thursday. But I was too scared and too stubborn.

Thank God my mom didn't give up. If she hadn't kept insisting that I go, I would have waited even longer and who knows what would have happened. Likely I wouldn't be sitting here right now. I'm so thankful that when I didn't think I needed to go, she made me go. And, I'm thankful that she didn't just tell me to go and leave me on my own. She drove me herself and made sure I got the help I needed.

I was reflecting on a passage from Acts when I thought about that day I went to the hospital. Acts 5:15-16 says

¹⁵ As a result, people brought the sick into the streets and laid them on beds and mats so that at least Peter’s shadow might fall on some of them as he passed by. ¹⁶ Crowds gathered also from the towns around Jerusalem, bringing their sick and those tormented by impure spirits, and all of them were healed.

What I love about that passage is that it doesn't say the sick people came on their own, looking for healing. It says the people brought the sick and the tormented and laid them in the streets. These people were either unable or unwilling to go on their own, so their family and friends brought them to the place they needed to be. AND THEY WERE HEALED.

How many people do I know who need healing? Maybe not a physical healing, but definitely a spiritual healing? A healing that I myself have received. A healing that I know they can get if they will only allow Jesus to touch their hearts. But, they're unable or unwilling to go to Him. They're stubborn and won't admit their need. Just as I was when I was sick. They think they can take care of the issue on their own, just like I thought I would feel better if I just pretended there wasn't a problem and waited it out.

Why, then, am I not bringing them? If someone I cared about was sick and in danger of dying, I would bring them to the doctor. But there are people all around me in danger of missing out on God's love for them and I do nothing.

 I know that I can't physically bring everyone around me to church or to Bible study or to a Christian concert. I do think it's important to invite people to those things and if they choose to come, it's wonderful! God will do amazing things through that. But some people just won't agree to come with me.
  
But, instead of giving up on them, I bring them and lay them at Jesus' feet the only way I can, through prayer. By bringing them to Jesus through my prayer, I open the door for Him to work in their lives and bring them to the place of healing. If they won't come on their own, I will bring them. And when I do, He will move in their lives. And they will be healed.

Holding back

I read an interesting story in the book of Acts a few weeks ago. I'm pretty sure I had never heard this story before, but it spoke volumes to my heart during a time when I needed to hear it. Acts 5:1-4 says

  Now a man named Ananias, together with his wife Sapphira, also sold a piece of property. ² With his wife’s full knowledge he kept back part of the money for himself, but brought the rest and put it at the apostles’ feet.

³ Then Peter said, “Ananias, how is it that Satan has so filled your heart that you have lied to the Holy Spirit and have kept for yourself some of the money you received for the land? ⁴ Didn’t it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn’t the money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied just to human beings but to God.”

It goes on to say that Ananias fell down and died. Later, his wife comes in and they ask her whether her husband gave the full amount. She lies and says he did. When she is confronted with the truth, she also dies on the spot.

At first, I the only thing I understood this story to be teaching was not to be greedy and not to lie.  I thought, "Must be talking to someone else. I give my tithe on Sundays and help people in need as much as I can. I don't have anything of value that I might sell and then be tempted to keep part of the money. I think I'm good." Moving on to the next story now.

But then, I went back and read it again and I noticed some things I didn't really think about before. And that's when it smacked me right between the eyes.

This story isn't just about money or property or lying. This is about giving God our best. And it's talking directly to ME.

Look at verse 4 again.

  
⁴ Didn’t it belong to you before it was sold? And after it was sold, wasn’t the money at your disposal? What made you think of doing such a thing? You have not lied just to human beings but to God.”

The problem wasn't that Ananais kept some of the money. The property was his to keep or sell and the profit was his to use as he pleased. Ananias could have simply brought his tithe and kept the rest. Or, he could have made a gift of part of the money and spent the rest on whatever he wanted. God wasn't forcing him to give it to the apostles.

But Ananias wanted to look good. He wanted to say, "Look what I did. I sold my property and gave all the money to the apostles. I'm awesome like that." But in his heart, he knew he was holding back. He put on the show of doing something great for God, but inside, he was settling for "good enough". 

I do that so often in my life. I sign up to do something that I don't have to do-teach a kids' class at church, lead a Bible study group, volunteer at a special event at church. I commit to being there and to working-serving and giving my time and energy to whatever I signed up for. And I do.

On the outside, it looks good. My lessons are prepared, I have my smile on my face, and I show up when I'm supposed to. But, on the inside, I know I'm holding back. I don't give 100% of what I could. I do just enough to make it look good to the people around me. 

It may be that I give less than my best because I'm simply too busy. I overschedule myself so that there's just not enough time to do everything and do it well.

It may be that I really wanted to say no, but said yes because I didn't want to hurt someone's feelings or because I felt like if I didn't do it, no one would.

Maybe I hold back because I am looking for approval and recognition from those around me and I'm afraid of investing myself too much and then being disappointed when I don't receive it.

Whatever the reason, when I hold back and don't give God the best of what I commit to Him, I miss out on blessings He has for me. 

  

So, today, I look into my heart. What are the areas that I truly feel led to commit to serving God and what are the areas where I've said yes when I should have said no? What areas of my life am I serving just to be recognized or approved by people, but holding my best back out of fear? 

"Good enough" is no longer good enough for me. I want to give 100% of my very best in whatever I choose to do. No holding back.

 

Just because.

Have you ever gotten a "just because" gift. A gift that came, not because it was your birthday or Mother's Day or because you had done something for someone, but just because someone wanted you to have it? Those are my favorite kind of gifts!

I got one of those just the other day. I had gone shopping at a bookstore with a friend. As we were walking to the car, she turned to me and said, "I got you something," and handed me this super cute bookmark that now holds my place in one of my most favorite books ever. 

That little bookmark made my day! And it still makes me smile every time I look at it. She didn't have to get me a gift that day. It wasn't any sort of special occasion. She got it for me because she loves me. That's what makes it so special.

I was reading in Acts about the early church and came across a passage I had heard many times before. Acts 4:32-35 says,

³² All the believers were one in heart and mind. No one claimed that any of their possessions was their own, but they shared everything they had. ³³ With great power the apostles continued to testify to the resurrection of the Lord Jesus. And God’s grace was so powerfully at work in them all ³⁴ that there were no needy persons among them. For from time to time those who owned land or houses sold them, brought the money from the sales ³⁵ and put it at the apostles’ feet, and it was distributed to anyone who had need.

I've heard that passage used so many times to tell us that we "should" be generous with our possessions and that we "should" give to the church and to the needy. But, look at the wording of the passage again. Never in those scriptures do I see the word "should". These early believers did give of what they had. They shared their possessions and took care of the needs of those around them. But it wasn't obligation that motivated them. 

The scripture says they were "one in heart and mind." They were united. They cared for one another. Their motivation to give was love. Isn't this the example God gives us to give? 

John 3:16 tells us,

For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life.

God gave His Son, not out of obligation; He gave out of His great love for us. It was one of those "just because" gifts that mean so much.

I want to be like that! When I give-whether money, gifts, or time-I want to be motivated by love. I want to give "just because" He has given so much to me.

 

Shaken

Have you ever heard the saying, "Be careful what you wish for?" It's a common theme in fairy tales and movies. Sometimes if we actually got the things we wished for, we would quickly decide it wasn't what we really wanted after all. 

Like in the story of Aladdin. Aladdin has the opportunity to ask the Genie for whatever he wants. What he wants is to marry the princess. Since he can't wish for the princess to fall in love with him and because she has to marry a prince, Aladdin wishes for the Genie to turn him into a prince. Aladdin gets his wish, but with it comes a lot of trouble, almost costing him and the princess their lives. His wish didn't turn out quite the way he planned.

Or, in the story of Pinocchio. Gepetto longs to have a son. His wish is granted when the puppet Pinocchio comes to life. But Pinocchio gets himself in trouble and Gepetto ends up being swallowed by a whale. When Pinocchio comes to save Gepetto from the whale, he drowns. The son Gepetto wanted ends up giving his life to save his father.

Wow. That makes me think a little more carefully about what I wish for, and consequently, what I ask God for. In the end, Aladdin does marry Princess Jasmine and Pinocchio does become a real boy. They all live happily ever after. But getting to the end was hard work.

Now, I know that God is not a genie or the blue fairy who grants my wishes for whatever impulse pops into my head. He's not going to zap me with a million dollars falling from the sky or turn me into some sort of supermodel. I don't get to have everything I want. It doesn't work like that. 

But, God does tell us to ask for the things we need and for the desires of our hearts and He will give them to us. He promises to not only take care of our needs, but to also give us "good gifts" as well. He wants to bless us with the things our hearts desire.

But often, I don't ask.  Not because I don't believe God will do it or that God is able to do it. I don't ask because I'm afraid of what will be required of me to receive it.

I want to ask God to heal me of my health issues, but I don't ask because I know that some of them are caused by my unhealthy lifestyle and I will be required to change.

I want to ask God to help me accomplish more during my day, but I don't ask because I know that I will have to give up some time on social media to make time for other things.

I want to ask God to bring me friends, but I don't ask because I will have to get out of my comfort zone and meet new people.

When God gives me the things I wish for, my life will be shaken. My comfort zone will be taken away and change will come. 

Acts 4:31 says,

"After they prayed, the place where they were meeting was shaken. And they were all filled with the Holy Spirit and spoke the word of God boldly."

God has so many wonderful things for me, but He waits for me to ask for them. If I am too afraid of being shaken, I will miss out on some awesome blessings He wants to give me.

Making healthy choices and losing weight will be hard, but it will be so awesome when I no longer have to take medications and struggle with my health issues anymore!

Changing my social media habits will mean I have less down time, but it will feel so nice when my house is cleaned and I see all the things I have checked off my to-do list!

Putting myself out there and chancing rejection from someone I want to befriend is scary, but having someone to turn to when I need support or a laugh will make my life so much richer!

As scary as it is, I'm ready. I want to pray and allow God to shake me and take me to the place He wants me to be. I know that the path to get there may be difficult. I may be required to make changes or give up some things I'm comfortable with, but I know it will be worth it in the end.

 

Dear Jesus, Thank you for all the blessings I know you have in store for me if I will only ask. Fear has kept me from them for too long. I lay down my fear of the unknown, my need for control, and my comfort and ask that you shake me and take me to a new place in you. I am ready to see you move in my life like never before. Amen.

I'm no expert...

Have you ever noticed that a lot of people who are considered experts have no actual experience with the subject of their expertise? We have parenting "experts" who have no children. We have weight-loss "experts" who've never had a weight issue or an eating disorder. We have marriage "experts" who are single. All of their knowledge is based on study, research, and observation. And they CAN offer some good advice sometimes. But wouldn't it be better to go talk to someone with first-hand knowledge?

A parenting "expert" can tell give you some tips on getting your baby to sleep through the night. But only a mom can talk to you about how to soothe your breaking heart as you listen to your little one cry-it-out in the next room.

A diet and nutrition "expert" can tell you the right kinds and combinations of food to eat and the kinds of exercise to use to shape your body. But only someone who's been through weight loss themselves can tell you how to stay motivated when you're doing all the right things and the weight still isn't coming off.

A marriage "expert" can give you tips on ways to keep the spark in your marriage. But only someone who's been married and stuck it out through the years can tell you why it's worth it to put in the hard work of loving your spouse when they aren't acting very lovable.

 For me, I prefer getting my counsel and advice from those who I know have "been there", who've walked the road I'm walking and come out on the other side. People who can speak to my heart from their experience. Because of where they've been, I trust that I can take what they're saying to heart.

I found an interesting verse in the book of Acts the other day. Acts 4:13 says,

When they saw the courage of Peter and John and realized that they were unschooled, ordinary men, they were astonished and they took note that these men had been with Jesus.

Peter and John were not religious experts, they were simply fishermen who had been called by Jesus to be his disciples. When they spoke of Jesus, his grace, and forgiveness, it was based on their experience, because they had been with Him.

This is the prayer I have for my life. I am bu no means an "expert" on the Bible in anyway. I can't tell you the Greek meanings of words or fill in the historical context of the events in the Bible. Those things I am still learning. 

What I can do, is share with you what I have experienced. Jesus has changed my life in big ways and without Him, I wouldn't be where I am today. He's walked with me through some hard things and brought me to the other side. He's shown how me to see myself the way He sees me and how to let go of things from my past. He's encouraged me when I was down, given me strength when I was weak, and brought me out of the dark places into His light. 

I may not be an expert, but I have been with Him. And that, for me, makes all the difference."

Give up!

Recently, I have embarked on a journey to lose weight and get healthy. If you aren't familiar with my journey, check out my "Rebuilding" blog. (It has been a while since I've updated, but that will be remedied soon.) I am making progress and it's going well, but it's definitely not easy. 

Just before I started, we were given a stationary bike. Actually, it was given to my son because he enjoyed playing on it when we visited my aunt and uncle. So much for my excuse that I don't have time to go workout. God brought the workout to me.

When I first started, I did 5 minutes on the bike every morning, only 5 minutes. It doesn't sound like much, but when you haven't done any intentional exercise in years, it was A LOT. I was so sore the first few days! Over the first couple of weeks, I worked up from 5, to 6, to 7, to 10 minutes. Each time, it would get harder and my muscles would be sore all over again. But only for a couple of days. By the end of a week, it was a piece of cake. 

I am now up to 30 minutes and almost 7 miles a day. It isn't especially easy, but it's doable. It feels so good when I'm finished to know that I stuck with it and didn't quit when it was hard. And it's paying off. The weight is coming off. Slowly, but it is happening. My perseverance is paying off. I didn't give up.

One night last week, I was sleeping and having a dream. I don't really remember the details of the dream except one. It was the moment right before my alarm went off and I opened my eyes. I was running or walking down a path of some kind, a hallway maybe or a road. I looked up and right in front of my face was a sign that looked like this.

 

A simple, but clear message. That was the last thing I saw in my mind before I woke up. 

Visual images are powerful. Once you've seen something, it's hard to get rid of it. My kids make jokes about needing "mind bleach" when they've seen something they didn't want to, but in reality, there is no such thing. 

That image followed me around for the rest of that day and, honestly, most of the rest of the weekend. It affected my attitude, my actions, and my relationships.

Until...

I looked at it for what it was, a lie. An attempt to shake my confidence and keep me from accomplishing the things God had planned for me. God tells me over and over again in His word to not give up, to persevere, to keep going. He speaks words to me that build me up and point me in the right direction. 

He wasn't the one telling me to give up. That was a distraction. I had to choose to change my focus from the lie that tried to stop me, to the truth. This is what God tells me.

 

So, when everything around me, including my dreams, tells me to give up, I will lift my eyes and look to Jesus, who tells me to keep running my race to the end. He will not let me fail!