Sometimes my kids can be so sweet! I love when they do little unexpected things for me like bringing me flowers they've picked from the yard, draw me a picture, do an extra chore without being asked, or say a sincere thank you when I've done something for them. It makes my heart happy to see them go out of their way to be nice. Just now, my Cheyenne just made me an apple with caramel sauce just because she was having one and thought I might like one, too. I love that!
My son, Landon, can be especially sweet. I love all my kiddos, but there is something about a little boy and his mama that is totally different than moms and daughters. He melts my heart.
Landon can give the most awesome back rubs! He likes to take his little cars and drive them around on my back...so relaxing. I love when he does that! It can put me to sleep in a minute! And I especially love it when he does it spontaneously, just because he loves his mama.
I started to notice a pattern lately, though about when those back rubs would come. It used to be that I would just randomly get one every few days or so. Then, they started to come every day. Then, I noticed that they were coming at about the same time each day...
While the girls were cleaning up the kitchen.
My sweet son was not coming to do something nice for me, he was pretending to do something nice for me as a cover for him not doing something I asked him to do. He was using a service to me as a way to get out of doing something he didn't want to do.
As that realization sank in, I no longer viewed his offer to rub my back as a kind gesture, but as an insulting, disappointing action on his part. Instead of making my heart smile, it made my heart sad and hurt. Because it wasn't the action I was so fond of, it was the attitude and the love behind it. Without the love, the action was meaningless.
There's a story in Acts chapter 8 that speaks to how God feels when our actions are motivated by selfish ambitions as well. Acts 8:18-23 says
20 Peter answered: “May your money perish with you, because you thought you could buy the gift of God with money! 21 You have no part or share in this ministry, because your heart is not right before God. 22 Repent of this wickedness and pray to the Lord in the hope that he may forgive you for having such a thought in your heart. 23 For I see that you are full of bitterness and captive to sin.”
Simon was asking for a seemingly good thing. He wanted to offer the Holy Spirit to those around him. But his motives and his heart weren't right with God. So, his action were not acceptable.
This story was a definite heart check for me. If I am doing the things God has called me to do-tithing, teaching, serving, giving-all good things, but with an attitude of selfishness, obligation, bitterness, or pride, it means nothing. If I do it because I think that I am going to get something from God in return, it is useless. If I serve God only out of fear that He will "get me" if I don't, it's all for nothing.
God wants our acts of service. He wants our time, our money, our actions. But more than all these things, He wants our heart.
That's how I want to serve Him today. Not to get anything or get out of anything. Just because I love him.
Father,
Help me today to check my heart. I want to serve you out of the depth of my love for you, not because of what I think I can get for myself. Forgive me, Lord, for the times my motives haven't been pure. Cleanse my heart of anything that isn't driven by love. I love you and I want my actions to be approved and accepted by you. Thank you for the example of the truest love that you have set for me by sending Your Son, Jesus, to be my savior and redeemer. Help me to love the way you love.
In Jesus' Name, Amen
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